Write to Express Not to Impress.

Numb.

I feel more closed up than ever, i can’t feel a single feeling if i try to search for it inside me.

I guess this is what it feels like to feel dead inside.

I have to keep telling myself, you’re not the girl who I once fell in love with.

Don’t respect me, I didn’t earn it.

Don’t think so highly of me, I’m doing things behind your back and you don’t know it.

I’m not a friend, I’m your enemy.

Don’t trust me so easily, I’m not the one who shouldn’t even have your trust.

And I’m not planning on having it.

I don’t feel any ounce of guilt, because i’ve lost my morals.

MIA

I’ve decided to not see my mains or anyone for a little while. I think it’s time for me to really sit back and see what I really want in life. I love having fun and enjoying the company of others. I don’t wanna drink recklessly because of a heartbreak over some girl or me trying to escape problems back home. I think its time for me to face my problems and really deal with it.

I don’t wanna be kissing another girl every time when I go clubbing, parties, or to a bar, when she’s not the girl who I wanna commit to. I should have respect for myself. Because I know better than that. I’m tainting myself more with this alcohol abuse. The more I consume, the more unhappy I’m becoming.

I want to change, so for now…I am currently under construction of bettering myself.